The Following is a selection from and Ensign article that was published in 1979 by C. Kay Allen. "I’m a psychologist and a bishop of a singles branch. I’m also a husband and a father, and that means I’ve spent years becoming aware of the dimensions of the problem we call self-esteem. And that’s in addition to the time I’ve put in on myself. Every day, including most Sundays, I see people who want to be loved and to love themselves but who really aren’t doing very much to merit love.

And they feel terrible—lonely, cynical, or helpless.

And it makes me feel bad too, because I can plainly see that what they are doing and feeling moves them away from love. Since they often feel no value in themselves, they usually see little value in others. They don’t know that the self love they need to develop is not selfishness or self-centeredness; in fact, it is its opposite.

But usually they want to change and can change; and for me as a family counselor and a bishop, there’s nothing quite like the first flicker of hope that lights up their eyes when they realize they are worthwhile and that change is a possibility.

Our present feelings about ourselves were born in our intimate relationships with family and friends. But most of us face disappointment or hostility at one time or another and develop fears and self-protective reactions. And what has happened seems beyond our control.

It is true that we can’t change the past, but we can deal with the present. The question is, how do I deal with my life in a healthy and productive way now? If I don’t deal with life adequately my self-esteem is low. So my capacity to change, to bring my life under my control, becomes the key issue. That’s where self-esteem begins: with change, with the conviction that I have control over my attitudes and actions toward others.

Changes in behavior are easier to talk about than to do. One of the hard facts of life is that self-esteem comes from your ability to solve problems, not from sympathy, not from realizing that life has handed you a raw deal, and not from blaming your parents or teachers or employer. If you can’t solve problems and deal with conflict, your self-esteem is going to stay low. When we operate out of control, we have the awful feeling that circumstances control us, rather than that we control ourselves."

Satan has a good way of making us feel like we are nothing. He knows how to get us to feel down on ourselves. He knows how to place the circumstances in front of us that makes us crumble. I know this personally. I stuggle with this a lot. Satan knows Im week with my self confidence and self-esteem. I get those moods where I think Im not good enough. That I have know idea of why Im out here. But when we build our self esteem up we dont have to worry about being a failure. God loves us all so much. He wants is to be happy and have confidence in ourselves.